A Letter to a Former Friend

To my former friend,

It has been three years now since we last spoke.

I remember the first time we met. How I thought you were one of the coolest and most interesting people I had ever known at my life. You were so smart, strong, brave and confident. We moved in together, and you helped me get a cat. I introduced you to my family, we went on trips together, we binged shows and you taught me how to cook.

The night when my depression was at its worse, you held me when I said I had to go to the hospital, then stayed with me while I made an appointment. You were my best friend.

I don’t know what happened. I don’t know if there were things going on with you that I didn’t know about, or I finally saw the real you for the first time. I would have been there for you, or at least tried to be, but you would not let me. Instead you went out of your way to hurt me, in small ways, everyday for months. Alternately ignoring and then lashing out at me.

You were my first heart break, because while it may not have been romantic, I did love you. When I needed you the most, you moved out and cut off all contact with me. You let me know with out words that for four years, you had used me. I wondered if on your part, our friendship was a lie the entire time.

I am better now, stronger now, I have friends that will never use and abandon me. I forgive you, sometimes I miss the you I thought you were, but honestly hope our paths do not cross in the future.

What do you do when you have no idea where your life is going?

If you have the answer, let me know.